THE GRIEVING PROCESS
The loss of someone close in our hearts is devastating, our emotions and feelings can roller coast a mass of ups and downs that are unlike any other we experience as humans of profound loss and extreme disappointment. Loss is one of the most difficult experiences to come to terms with.
The grieving process will vary from person to person with the experience being both personal and unique.
The stages of grieving include
- Denial – This can be experienced as disbelief that we have experienced the loss, an example of this can be returning home imagining that they will be there waiting for you
- Anger – Feelings and expressions of “why has this happened to me?” And very commonly being angry you have been left, or guilt of not saying or doing the right thing.
- Bargaining – “If I am nicer or I change something within me perhaps it will make it easier, or prevent it from happening again
- Depression – “I will always feel this unhappy, I will never be able to smile or feel good about life again” Feeling and experiencing a blackness that most find hard to describe”
- Acceptance – “This is still very painful, but I am starting to feel that I can look forward to the future and remember good times together”.
This grief can manifest itself in many ways, ranging from anguish, exhaustion, emptiness, resentment, longing, tension, confusion and sometimes a temporary loss of the will to live.
Similarly, after a loss we may hang on to a certain feeling such as guilt or resentment or disappointment that immobilizes us. Often people do not believe that a feeling will ever go away, and that is how they need to keep the memory alive. We may hang on to certain fear, such as a fear of the future, feeling stuck and unable to live.
Counselling can be an invaluable support for most, which is a unique experience of relating with a supportive, listening, caring person who does not need us and who is detached enough to allow the experience without interference.
Allowing, options helping express and supporting to re-create goals, gain a new perspective, to help restore your life.